A Positive Preface
Before I begin, I want you to know that I am the eternal
optimist. Just ask anyone who knows me. So much so, I've become a master of twisting and
turning the negatives into positives.
I am writing this on Friday evening. Everyone knows though
that Netrepreneurs live in Internet Time and usually never know what day of the week it
is. Monday is like Thursday is like Sunday. However I am going to assume for the sake of
this article (and my sanity) that this IS the last day of one of the worst weeks in
cyber-history. At least for me.
Now I'm not quite to the point of resurrecting all that
has happened these past five days because it's too soon, but let me tell you about MY
week.
Setting the (Trap Door on the) Stage
Having made the decision to venture out on my own with a
brand new company http://www.interniche.net , this week was supposed to be the start of
launching one of my new projects. And I was as excited as a tyke in a toystore!
It involved my good friend, Marlon Sanders. He offered me
a generous lead time to promote a great, inexpensive new marketing tutorial called
"Discover the Amazing Formula That Sells Products Like Crazy!"
http://www.higherresponse.com/track/t.cgi/8030 . Perfect timing, as my new affiliate
program was still a week away from launching.
Monday: Unleashing the Beast
I prepare my newsletter supplement to offer this wonderful
tool and its 7 FREE BONUSES to my 4000 Mirror subscribers and mail it out. A new article
submission (with a soft-shoe pitch about this product in the cover letter) to the
ezine/newsletter editors is readied and I press the send button. As expected, orders start
flooding in immediately. GREAT!!
Within 2 hours, my main site is down! Webhost is contacted
and although normally patient with this sort of thing, I'm not in this situation. But they
are SLOW with an answer let alone a solution. Day turns to night and I'm receiving a range
of emails from people politely informing me that the site is unavailable to the rather
crude "why would send me a product I can't access?". Webhost is still not
offering a resolution.
Exhausted, I go to bed knowing I'm losing sales and my
customers are losing out on a great product. Not to mention I look a little foolish!
Tuesday: The Law of that Renowned Irishman (that would be
"Murphy")
Up early and my site is back up!! What to do? Well, an
apology is certainly due even though I realize that most of my subscribers won't give a
cyber-care about my techno-excuse.
So I double-check my site and the order form and all is
well. I email everyone informing them everything is now functioning properly. As the last
email seeps out of my system, I visit both pages again and guess what? The server the
order form is on is down!
Still morning but felt like pouring a steep drink, going
back to bed and re-reading "Why Bad Things Happen to Good People". This secure
server is 'free' and normally reliable but as with all things free, something suffers and
guess what? It's support!
Balance of the day is spent fielding email regarding
"round 2" of this fiasco. Some of it is nasty. Like I'm doing this on purpose
just to inconvenience people.
Sweet dreams are not a possibility this night either.
Wednesday: A Silver Lining?
The article submission from Monday has borne some great
results. Quite a few publications are going to feature my new article, including one of
the Internets largest. The very next day too!
Downside is the secure server is still down. And it
remains so all day and evening. Seems like I wasn't destined to sell this particular
product. Decision time. Get my programmer to set up a new order form on another server.
Might still salvage a few sales. Of course, this is never a quick process so it's a
waiting game.
And I wait....and I wait....and I wait...
Thursday: The Cloud Bursts
Morning's email floods in and voila!...my article in fact
appears in this major zine. Super! My new company needs the hits this will generate. But
guess what? They published my old "bio" which points the readers to the business
I had sold my interest in a few months ago. The silver lining was black-holed!
I, of course request a retraction in the next day's issue,
which is agreed to. At least there will be some salvage to this blooper.
Just prior to knocking off for the night I notice that
ticklish little feeling in my throat. You know, the one that foreshadows those terrible
winter viruses we all seem to get just when we figured we beat the cold and flu season.
Nothing to do with my marketing nightmare, but a little icing on the cake of my story.
TGIF
Remember I said I was the eternal optimist? Woke up with
the feeling that nothing was going to make this the Titanic of weeks for me. No wind or
sleet or cough or ezine owner who thinks I've totally lost it. Nothing!
My attitude is positive! My new order form is ready! My
regular newsletter will go out in advance this weekend with the "vow" that they
can now "really" access my product. I will send "another" article to
the ezine owners with my tongue-in-cheek version of this story. My correct information
will appear in today's issue of that major ezine. I was going to be exonerated! Some of my
reputation will be repaired!
This is the point where the subtitle of the article really
comes into play. I no sooner prepare all of the above elements than into my inbox waltzes
that ezine with the retraction. And then some really ugly email follows from readers about
how terrible my article was. People were calling me Ernie (fictitious name)! Two of them
even sent me that nasty Happy99 virus. And I already had a real one!
Well it turns out this zine goofed again and put my email
address where this author's belonged. And readers really didn't care for what this person
had written.
Now is this not the epitomy of the kind of luck that only
Martin Short could have?
Lessons and Other Things Learned
1. Cyber-Sh#@ really does happen!
2. Even the big guns goof a lot!
3. I will somehow make this all work for me!
4. People don't like Ernie's articles!
5. You never really beat the cold and flu season!
6. My product IS REALLY available right now!