Question of the Month of June, 1999 - Michel Fortin
The following is Michel Fortin's brief answer to a question selected among hundreds if not thousands that he receives each week. For more information on critique consultations, see http://SuccessDoctor.com/booster.htm.
Submitted by Dr. Kevin Polk at http://TimeDoctor.com
"I have had my web site up for a few months and have just started selling a manual. Until now I have been attracting newsletter subscribers plus offering time management coaching. I have about a thousand subscribers, but the coaching has been slow. If possible, I would really appreciate some feedback so I can really gear up the marketing of the manual."
Dr. Polk, if you are referring to www.timedoctor.com/intro.htm, here are a few pointers. First, the headline: The headline doesn't really grab me. "Introduction to 'A Jump-Start to Time Management for Busy Women'" doesn't really invoke, in my mind, the sensations of what the book would truly give me -- or in the very least the benefit in reading the web page further to find out. I noticed that you use bullets. Wonderful! But use emotions as much as possible as well as use some of the benefits that you feature in the headline itself. Here's an example:
First, start with a surheadline, in small font:
"Are you stressed out? Are you suffering from "time poverty"? Are you accomplishing much but without accomplishing much of anything?
Well, now there's hope..."
Next, follow with the actual headline but in larger, bolder font -- and put it in quotation marks (quotation marks actually improve response -- it's a little unknown copywriter's secret):
"NEW Time and Life Enrichment Manual Exclusively Dedicated to Today's Busy Woman Gives You a No-Frills, Tip-Filled, Sensible Approach to Finding, Using, Maximizing, Investing, and Enjoying Your Most Precious Resource…
Your TIME!"
Finally, add a subheadline, in small font again:
"Time enhancement expert Dr. Kevin Polk delivers life-impacting tips and strategies in an example-filled manual that can literally change the way you manage your time… GUARANTEED!"
(Actually, the guarantee here is also important, but I'll get to that a little later.)
Second, your copy: Sell a little harder and describe the book more. The Internet is a direct marketer's (and an impulsive shopper's) heaven. Thus, it should use the same mechanisms. For instance, use bulleted benefit lists, especially when following the words "you get" or "reasons why," like: "In this manual, you get" or "here are the reasons why you need this manual." Also, use post-scriptums ("P.S.'s," even "P.P.S's" at the end). They really work.
But the most important copy element that is proven to be effective is longer copy -- long copy always outsells short copy. For instance, provide some of the examples from the manual that you mentioned within the text to sort of tickle the reader. Interlace your copy judiciously with testimonials. Add real-life examples, such as: "My client, Deborah, came to me with what appeared to be extraordinary demands on her time. After reviewing her case, I told her to [do such and such], which you will find on page 99 of the manual," and so on.
Incidentally, associating page numbers when describing your book (especially when followed a list of contents, chapters, or topics) helps to give the reader a sense of what they will get with the book. I use this technique at http://SuccessDoctor.com/power.htm. In your case, you can use a second bulleted list, as follows (keep in mind that I have never read your manual and I'm purely guessing the topics of your manual for the sake of this example):
"In this manual, you will discover:
- How to find time and discover the things that really matter (chapter 2, page 56);
- How to prioritize your time the right way (chapter 3, page 86);
- How to leverage your time through specific systems (chapter 4, page 101)..."
By the way, including the number of pages your manual contains is also a good point to make. You can use it within your text (without stating it directly), such as: "In this 254 page manual, you get time enhancing tools, examples, and worksheets that..." You get the picture.
In essence, people want to know exactly what they are getting. Unlike a bookstore where they can visually appreciate what they are buying, people do not see your book online. In fact, if you can add a scan of the manual's cover (similar to Amazon.com, for example), it will help immensely. In short, you want to "concretize" what people can not see. People not only buy on emotional logic (as Zig Ziglar would say), but they are also visual -- especially on the Internet. Make your book tangible by using tangible benefits, features, and descriptions.
Third, your guarantee: Guarantees are powerful. As stated in the subheadline suggested earlier, you want to not only refer to your guarantee often but also include it on the same page and as a separate, emphasized block. You also want to do the same with the "free bonus" you offer. In fact, you should offer your free bonus in a "P.S." after your signature using a takeaway selling strategy (e.g., the bonus being a time-sensitive offer -- no pun intended :)
For example, here's how your separated, blocked guarantee could read (I've pasted some of the text from your site and refined it here for the sake of illustration):
--- BEGIN EXAMPLE ---
"HERE'S OUR MONEY BACK SATISFACTION PLEDGE: Test drive the manual absolutely risk-free for 180 days. If you're not fully satisfied for any reason, or if your manual does not dramatically improve the way you invest your time, simply return the book within 180 days and you'll get a full refund, no questions asked.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Kevin Polk
P.S.: As a busy woman, you know that sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) it is difficult to get your husband or boyfriend talking about the more meaningful side of your relationship. So, buy the booklet before July 15, 1999 and get, as a FREE special bonus (valued at $3.95) a copy of "How to Get Your Husband on Track," which is a humorous look at how wives can get their husbands talking about something more serious than sports…
But you must act quickly to receive this FREE bonus!
Buy safely and securely using my convenient shopping cart (major credit cards accepted). I also accept checks and money orders. BUT if you order right now, there is a surprise bonus on the order page! So, check it out to see what's there.
P.P.S.: Time is indeed a rare commodity. But I also understand that, for some, it takes time to make time. This is why I give the most user-friendly and advantageous guarantee on the Internet with this type of book. I'm convinced that it will change your life. So, remember that you benefit from a FULL 180 DAYS to test drive this unique and life-impacting program... At your own pace!
And if you choose to return the manual for any reason, here's an extra BONUS: You get to keep the special bonus offer -- "How to Get Your Husband on Track" (a $3.95 value) -- absolutely FREE OF CHARGE! It's yours to keep, no matter what! So, don't wait. Click here [link to your order page] now and let's get you started on a more profound, more enriching, and more satisfying path to time enhancement. In essence, you've got nothing to lose... But time!"
--- END EXAMPLE ---
Nevertheless, that's all I can offer right now. Good luck!
Michel Fortin
The Success Doctor
About the Author
Michel Fortin is an author, speaker and Internet marketing consultant dedicated to turning businesses into powerful magnets. Visit http://SuccessDoctor.com. He is also the editor of the "Internet Marketing Chronicles" ezine delivered weekly to 100,000 subscribers -- subscribe free at http://SuccessDoctor.com/IMC/.
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