Question of the Month of July, 1999 - Michel Fortin
The following is Michel Fortin's brief answer to a question selected among hundreds if not thousands that he receives each week. For more information on critique consultations, see http://SuccessDoctor.com/booster.htm.
Submitted by Janice Riley at http://www.2000nz.com
"We would be extremely grateful if you would spare a moment and cast your educated eye over our web site. We need some real criticism as to how we can improve it. My husband is the webmaster and has us ranked number one with the major search engines (at least in the top 20 the last time we did a position analysis). We have had a reasonable response but not the sales as expected -- even here in New Zealand. All we would like is someone to pinpoint where we are going wrong, someone to steer us in the right direction. My husband keeps saying that its down to the copywriting. We have had several marketing so-called gurus look at the site but all they can say is excellent site, fast-loading, well ranked, can improve slightly in the coding, and that's been it. Thank you for your time."
Janice, you're welcome to some of the following suggestions (although they are only an iceberg's tip of what you can do to enhance your sales). There are two major things that immediately struck me upon entering your site: 1) Your domain name and 2) your copy.
1) Domain name
Your domain name must tell people exactly who you are, what you do, and how different you are from the rest. It is no longer important to "be the best." In an overcommunicated society, people now have very short attention spans -- on the Internet, it's even worse. Your ultimate goal is to "be different." What's your most marketable competitive edge? What's your unique selling proposition? Most important, what's your main, core, customer-focused benefit?
The domain name "2000nz.com" does not tell me in any way what you are all about, what you are selling, and how different you are. You see, it's important to distinguish your site through the most important element of a good, effective, and salable site -- your domain name.
Are you looking to invest money in stocks? Then, what would you choose: "mgf2000.com" or "stock-tips.com"? Would you choose: "cranberry-brokers.com" or "wealthwise.com"? In short, your domain name must drive traffic to your site on its very own.
Again, because of people's very limited time and attention span (along with the panoply of competitors fiercely fighting for your market's attention let alone buying power), many of them would love to skip a search engine by guessing your URL and typing it into their browsers, hoping it will bring them to your site. If your site is exactly what they want, then your domain name will thus bring targeted, pre-qualified customers to your site without effort.
Moreover, if they do have to search for your site on the search engines, their attempts would be vastly more efficient if your domain name communicates your site's key benefit if not the nature of your business. You may be the first on search engines as you mentioned, but many sites are first according to some obscure keyword or words. How often will people enter "millennium," "2000," let alone "2000nz" into a search engine's form? Not often. And if they do, I would rather suspect that these people are not in the market for collectibles.
Domain names (or keywords in your domain name) get indexed first and foremost before any other part of a site. It is not necessary to use a domain name with a unique name -- people don't search for names anyway, particularly if they are unaware that you exist. They search for themes, ideas, and topics. If your domain name communicates the essence of your site (and not your name), all the better. So, "2000-collectibles.com," "millenniumsouvenirs.com," "distinctgifts.com," "y2k-stuff.com," or "keepsakes.com" would be better names.
The simpler and the more memorable the URL, the better. "Art-U-Frame-It.com" sells lithographs. They recently bought the domain name "art.com" for $450,000 (US dollars -- I'm Canadian :) Was it a good investment? Well, almost immediately thereafter their traffic exploded and their sales went through the roof -- a good investment indeed.
Likewise, your name must intrinsically reflect at least the nature of your site if not communicate what your site sells -- which brings me to my second point...
2) Copy
What are you selling? Remember that people don't buy products; they buy what products do for them. In your case, I was confused upon entering your site since you open with a page titled "A Bit About Us." Not good. Don't try to be too focused on you or the features of your site. Be focused on the customer. Please take this with an open mind: But as a potential client, I really don't care who you are -- I care about me, myself, and I. I want something for me. What's in it for me? What does "2000nz.com" offer that benefits me specifically?
You sell collectibles. But it me took a while to find out (even though it's mentioned on your first page). In other words, your copy was not concise and straightforward. I want to see what you offer right from the start (or at least visualize it). And a mere two pages to find out what you sell may seem, to you, like little. But to the click-happy client, it's a whole lot. It would easily make a person click out of your site as fast as they clicked into it.
First, in an attempt to keep this response brief, here are three elements:
a) The headline
"Millennium Merchandise and Year 2000 Collectibles" means nothing. I know that you sell collectibles. But aren't there hundreds even thousands of other sites selling collectibles too? So, why would I buy yours specifically? You say: "Look no further for that unique gift the one that family, friends or clients will treasure well into the next century." Everybody says that -- at least, in my mind. Therefore, your headline must communicate fast and grab their attention.
Your headline should (in a credible, tasteful, and professional way) provide visual descriptions, customer-focused benefits, and "active-in-the-mind" words. For help specifically with headlines, see my article "The Ad for the Ad!" at http://SuccessDoctor.com/article9.htm.
Here's an example. First, start with a surheadline, in small font:
"Looking for that unique gift, the one that family, friends or clients will treasure well into the next century? Want that authentic and timeless momento that will give you, or your home or office, a uniquely distinct appeal that will make others envy you with jealousy?"
Next, follow with the actual headline but in larger, bolder font -- and put it in quotation marks (quotation marks actually improve response -- it's a little unknown copywriter's secret):
"Then look no further! Introducing... Authentic and stunningly beautiful Millennium Merchandise to help you bring in the new millennium... With DISTINCTION!"
Finally, add a subheadline, in small font again:
"We have brought together for you exclusively on this site a totally unique and limited edition collection of millennium merchandise and year 2000 collectibles -- you'll be happy with your keepsake... We GUARANTEE it!"
Actually, that's the second point...
b) The guarantee
Spell it out. Make it available on every page if possible. To the surfer, you are a "nobody." Assure them that they are taking a risk-free chance to "try out" your collectibles. You'll be amazed at how your sales will increase and your returns will decrease by simply emphasizing your guarantee (for more, see http://SuccessDoctor.com/article16.htm).
The next point is the most important...
c) The benefits
Lace your copy with benefits. Try to focus on your customer as much as possible. The site might appeal to you or your company. But you are already sold on you, right? You must sell your customer. With the use of bullets, you can list the benefits or potential uses for your gifts -- bullets are captivating, give the reader a visual "breather," and are clustered for greater impact (see my article at http://SuccessDoctor.com/article17.htm). Here's an example:
"With your Year 2000 collectible, you get:
- The perfect gift for friends, family, and coworkers for the holiday season;
- A unique way to remember this once in a lifetime event;
- That perfect momento to please any passionate collector, from the amateur
hobbyist to the discerning connoisseur..." And so on.
In essence, you must tell her what makes you different, how will the products you sell will benefit her specifically and why she should not only buy from you but also why she must buy from you right now.
This brings me to the final point...
d) The offer
Use takeaway selling. Takeaway selling is the process of threatening to take away your offer in order to immune your clients from that dreaded disease called "procrastination." In other words, make the offer time-sensitive or quantity bound. People don't know how much they want something until it's about to be taken away. Mold your offer in such a way that makes them need to buy it now. Create a sense of urgency -- you are in a perfect position to do that.
Why? You can say: "The year 2000 is just around the corner, so you will want to get these momentos fast!" Another one is: "Our prices will soon go up for the last holiday season of the millenium since they will be in tremendous demand at that point in time, so act quickly and get them now if you want to take advantage of these low prices," or something along those lines. (As you can see, to remain professional it is better to give a justifiable and logical explanation for the time-sensitivity -- doing so will not make your haste appear phony.)
I think that's all I can offer for now. Keep in mind there's much more that you can do. I invite you to read my articles and try to soak up as much as you can.
I wish you the very, very best.
Michel Fortin
The Success Doctor
About the Author
Michel Fortin is an author, speaker and Internet marketing consultant dedicated to turning businesses into powerful magnets. Visit http://SuccessDoctor.com. He is also the editor of the "Internet Marketing Chronicles" ezine delivered weekly to 100,000 subscribers -- subscribe free at http://SuccessDoctor.com/IMC/.
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